“Why are some women so scared of sex?
Many of them tell me that they don’t want to have sex on principle, because they have been hurt by some.
And then, if they had sex, they wouldn’t know for sure that the guy wouldn’t leave them immediately.
Where does this approach come from?”
There is a lot of perversity and hypocrisy in such statements, even if you could somehow find reasonable arguments for their unhappiness:
1. The fact that they „don’t want to have sex on principle” is a weak joke that women sell to those men with whom they don’t want to have sex…because they aren’t attractive enough for them.
These women are not only available for the men who would strongly validate them, those strong, vital, clever, authentic or self-conscious men, but they would also risk anything to get „a bit” of them.
2. Surely, they have certainly been hurt by some men, but only in their feelings of self-importance. When you cannot accept your natural need for sex, you must come up with a story in order to allow yourself to have sex.
And we, the weak men that we are, we will understand these women’s need to lie to themselves in order to have sex and we will lie to them accordingly so that we can give them the dick they need.
Sure, these women have good reasons to point to and judge the man’s lie, but they can see as well:
a. their hypocrisy of not accepting that, finally, they want and need the simple sex, without fairy tales, as much as any man who gets to fuck them.
b. the callousness of their superiority claims, based on which they can imagine that their pussy gives them the right to demand obedience and commitment from the man.
3. A man doesn’t ditch a woman because she has had sex with him.
He leaves and doesn’t contact her anymore, if that’s the case, because:
a. that’s all he wanted from her from the beginning, but obviously he couldn’t have told her the truth, because the dame would have most likely gotten hurt in her own feelings of importance, even though she needed sex as much as she needed to breath as well.
b. what he has gotten to know about her besides the experience of sex is not interesting enough to take things any further.
4. Still, men have a colossal guilt and responsibility in the women’s fear, incognizance of and reticence about assuming their own sexuality and admitting that they need sex as much as men, usually quite a lot.
Because women cannot admit this even to themselves sometimes, they must imagine and pretend they need love, to act and out of any experience with a man a proof of their „good behaviour” – that means nothing to real men.
Sure, there are men with whom women can be themselves, but rather few, so the majority of women live in confusion and consuming inner conflicts. These very confusions and conflicts are my target here on my blog.
5. There are no certainties that a woman will not be ditched after sex, nor are there during the relationship.
But for a woman is essential to understand that she is not ditched because she had sex with the guy, but…because that’s the only thing the guy wanted from her…and what he learned additionally in the erotic experience didn’t change his initial intentions.
However, no matter what a man or a woman wants from one another…
a. when each gives the other one the comfort of the possibility to be themselves, including the possibility of telling you that he/she wants only sex or an open relationship…
b. when the erotic experience brings to the surface deep compatibilities, or at least the promise of profound experiences…
no matter the initial intentions, everything can change overnight.
I said it before: a one night-stand can lead to a stable relationship, just as much as relationships that are sold as indestructible can end overnight.
What we are determines the evolution of a relationship and our naive intentions don’t have any weight when we know very little about ourselves, and our awareness and our experience is negligible.
If you want the chance to something real and stable in relationships:
a. throw away bucolic dreams and superiority claims,
b. facilitate and encourage the truth and create the comfort for the other one to feel safe, by being honest
c. grant Absolute Freedom
d. be honest and admit that all you have been given means very much
e. consequently, be grateful for the experience you had
f. see the temporal or definitive departure of anyone as something natural, because – surprise!…it actually IS natural.